Dear Self:So now seems like a good time for a bit of a sit down with myself.
I guess that things are a little bit shit right now. I'm struggling with myself. Steph, right now your heart has been broken for the first time. And it sucks. I don't know how else to explain how you feel right now, without being overly emotional or not doing my feelings justice. There seems to be no way to explain it in a way that doesn't make me sound silly. Maybe there is no way to explain it. It feels like there's no way to get over it right now.
I hope that the future is so much kinder to you. Because I want you to know that you deserve love. Even though it doesn't feel like it right now. And you deserve to be first choice. Please please believe me there.
I don't know what situation I'll be in when I imagine future me. Maybe you'll have what you want and be happy. But maybe you'll be happy anyway. Who knows. I just know that it really fucking hurts right now. Currently, it feels like your heart has been ripped out. It's the worst pain imaginable. But I'm trying. I just hope that either way you get to a point where you can be a good friend again. Where you can listen without cringing. Where you feel stronger and more like yourself. Where it doesn't hurt to breathe and you don't feel alone.
The next time you get your heart broken, and I hope it never happens again, I hope you'll know that it does get better. That just because it hurts to breathe now, it won't always. And I hope that you know you'll be happy again. Because that's what you deserve. To be happy and loved. But in the mean time, make sure that you love yourself.
I don't have much more to say right now. Except that I feel pretty shit and sad and sorry. And blergh.
I just want to turn my phone off and go to bed until it stops hurting.
I hope you're all well.
S
No comments:
Post a Comment