Let's Talk About Sex...

So let's talk about sex, and this is going to sound like a rant I'm sure. But let's get something straight:

• Men and women can be friends. Opposing genders don't always translate into attraction, an emotional connection or sex. Sometimes, men and women are just friends.
• Two people can be friends without having sex or being attracted to each other. And this applies to a man and a woman, two men, or two women. Sexuality is irrelevant. Friendships can exist without being based on sex. 
• My previous point still stands even if there is an attraction, or mutual feelings, between these two friends. People are capable of self control, believe it or not. 
• Acts of kindness do not indicate, or confirm rumours, that two people are had or are having sex. Sometimes people are just nice, you know?
• Mutual feelings between two people does not guarantee that they've slept together.
• People can be friends without sleeping together.
• We shouldn't be spreading rumours about other people's relationship regardless of whether they're sleeping with someone or not.
• Relationships aren't always what they seem to the outside world and observers.
• Happiness is more important than just sex.
• Rumours and gossip about relationships, and sex, are damaging to people and they cause a heck of a lot of necessary mental stress. So how about no. Sometimes, they are damaging to futures.

I know that we live in a world that is obsessed with romance narratives, and as much as I hate to say it, the porn industry and the glamorisation of sex. Sadly, we seem to have got to a point where sex is now embedded within the very concept of romance and true happiness. We've come to the conclusion that a person cannot be happy if they are not having sex, and regular sex. The confessional narrative within literature and the film industry mean that this now makes a person inadequate to themselves and to other people. People will question and worry why they're not having sex, and what is wrong with them that is preventing this sex.

Additionally, we're at the conclusion that you cannot be in love with someone without consolidating the relationship with sex.

I entirely understand that sex is something we need to talk about. It is something we shouldn't be ashamed of, and embarrassed of. But there is a line between discussing something in the name of removing stigma from previous eras, and simple, idle, gossip that is hurtful. Sex is combined with identity, with success, and happiness in popular culture now. But these are people's lives. Gossiping isn't cool.

So to clear things up, some people are having sex. And some people aren’t. And whatever is or isn’t happening between two people is private.

Have a good day folks!

S